teague: (Default)
Do you know where your brain is?


I don't. I'm ready to go hooome! One off day out of 9 days sucks. But it's over. As of tonight, Brad the other auditor returns from his vacation. I will be returning to my 2 nights a week schedual. Kinda ick, but after this week, a long off period, complete with time to sleep, and time to clean my house sounds just ducky. In fact I am just clock staring, feeling like the little girl from that Vin Diesil movie, where he plays a babysitter. He drives them to school like a maniac, and she busts from the minivan, and kisses the ground, going, "LAAAAAND" Yeah, that's about how I feel. I'm also glad that all the corp bullshit from the NASCAR stuff is over. I'm so confused about checking people out. Jeeze, I only just now got to where I was getting familiar with my job, and they change the rules on me. *seeth*

Anyway, I'll be off soon. I won't even have to worry if I don't feel sleepy right away.

Went to see War of the Worlds last night. It was better than a kick in the nuts. I am in love with Dakota Fannin. Can I have her for my child? She's awsome. I was happy with Tom Cruise's performance. He is a good actor imho. He just needs to learn when to shut his cakehole. The special effects were awsome, and scary. The big problem I had was...Damn...Did Spielburg forget how to end a movie? Seriously. There was AI, and now this. To his credit, he remained true to the book. (Only a spoiler if you read the book ;) And if he went in the opposite direction, it just would have been another Independance Day. So maybe the problem was he spent too much time focused on one set of characters, and didn't do enough to set you up for the ending. It was kinda like being on an exciting roller coaster, and the way you finish isn't at the botton of a hill...But at the top. You just expect *more*.
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Genres: Action/Adventure and Science Fiction/Fantasy

Running Time: 2 hrs. 26 min.

Release Date:  May 19th, 2005.

MPAA Rating:   PG-13 for sci-fi violence and some intense images.

Cast: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman. Ian McDiarmid, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee, Anthony Daniels, Peter Mayhew, Frank Oz, Jimmy Smits, and others.

Let me begin by saying that I really liked it. I've heard others say how disappointed they were, and some of them make good points. There were places where I, as an uneducated observer who is aware that I am *not a director*, feel that there was room to improve. But even feeling I could expect more, I enjoyed myself enormously. I was one of those stary eyed, hopeful geeks, that had tickets weeks in advance, and showed up befor 11:00 pm, the night it opened. I am old enough to be one of those folk who have literally seen each Star Wars movie in the theater.

My short, unspoiler laden, critique is that the special effects are spectacular. I mean, truely wonderful. My heart raced, my stomache rolled, and I totally bought most of the visual effects. It was a highly dramatic, exciting movie. Some of the acting could have been better. There was afew continuity issues I think needed addressing. I'm sure those will be expounded countless times.

Overall, as a life long Star Wars fan, I felt it was a good movie, and a nice way for a director to sign a career. I am not going to armchair quarterback Mr. Lucas. I do not have a special Star Wars script in my head that I am invested in. I only wanted to be dazzled and entertained, and I was.

Thumbs up. That being said, on to the spoilers.

Spoilers, if any are left )
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IT DOESN'T SUUUUUCK!!!









And 98% less JarJar. Seriously. He doesn't have one line.


More later.

HHGTTG

May. 7th, 2005 06:38 pm
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I finally got to go see Hitch Hikers Guide with my Mom. I must say I was suitibly impressed. Yes, it makes a wide right hand turn from the book, but not so wide as to be unrecognizable. I was going into this knowing that most of the actual changed were made by Douglas Adams himself, while he was still alive. So, even if you are a purest, please recognize that the artist himself was the one who signed off on this without hesitation. There is no lack of artistic integrity, which is usually one of the only reasons to bitch about movie adaptations. Since it had to be cut down to a manigable time, some of the goofy jokes that can be enjoyed in the book are lacking. If you can't live without those, may I direct you to the BBC series, which is of course longer, and written from the original radio script that started it all.

I enjoyed the casting. Martin Freeman made a most excellant Arthur Dent, portraying a confused, ordinary human being dragged into strange circumstance. His desire for Trillian was obvious, and sweet, but not overdone and syrupy. Mos Def, perhaps surprising to some, proved that Rap Stars can play something other than cartoonish versions of rap stars, thugs, or colorful hood characters. His Ford was amusing, and managed not to get lost among the rest of the cast. Sam Rockwell was a constant scene stealer as the perpetually cool, but confused male blond bombshell, and el presidente, Zaphod Beeblebrox. Zooey Deschanel was a lovely, wide eyed, and sexy Trillian, who showed she was both a woman with a wild side, and one possessed of down to earth practicality. And lastly the collaberation of Warwick Davis, and Alan Rickman (body and voice) made Marvin work out well. I was surprised to see John Malkovich, as I hadn't recognized him in the commercials. He was a great villain as always, and Bill Nighy made a fun Slartybartfast, who hadn't been one of my favorates in the book.

The movie is full of in jokes, and things you'd have to read the book to get. At the very begining the man in charge of demolishing Arthur's house looks like a mongol, though they didn't explain it as they did in the book. And when the characters go to the Vogon homeworld, be on the lookout for a cameo by the Marvin robot that was in the BBC production.

Overall I'd give the movie an A. It may not appeal as much if you don't like british humor. But counterbalancing that is an awsome effects budget, akin to something you'd see in Starwars. The sequence where Slartybartfast takes Arthur through the planet factory is amazingly beautiful, well paced, and seamless. I recommend it.
teague: (Pink)
Saturday was pretty good. Brian, Rachelle and I went out to see Amityville Horror. It shall be reveiwed later. We had a good time, and then I cooked dinner. Hamburger steak with gravy, mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. Not too shabby. I made the hamberger steaks too thick, so the sides got alittle charred but either they were being extreamly sweet and generous, or Brian and Rachelle like alittle char on their hamburger steak. I offered to scrape it off, but they said no, and Brian was eating the char I had scraped off mine. Weird. I also finally sat down to watch the movie Freaks.

For those that don't know, it's a movie about a beautiful but cruel trapeze artist who seduces a young circus midget who happens to have alot of money. It's a cult classic. It also, frankly, is one of those movies I think could use a remake. Tim Burton is the man I would pick, and I think it should be done in almost the exact same manner. No digital special effects. There is a whole town in Florida, just south of me, where actual circus freaks settled when the "market" dried up, and their decendants, many of whom still have the genetic traits, still live. In other words, there are people who would probably be very willing to play extras. Now, I'd also like to point out, befor anyone gets too bent out if shape, that the movie was actually one where the circus freaks won in the end. They were the people with the power. The movie was dark, surreal, and there were things that could have had even more edge if certain scenes had been directed to focus even more on the dark humor. That's why I would pick Burton. It's almost too bad he's no longer associated with his hot ex girlfriend. She would have made a great Cleo, the Trapeze Artist, except she would have had lines. So hmm.

Sunday I'm still trying to decide about. I played a D20 Starwars table top game for the first time in years. Chris, the GM, did a couple of *very* frustraiting things, and it's making me wonder if I want to play any more. Maybe you, gentle readers, can help me sort it out.

Ok, I'm playing the pilot. I'm like the Han Solo of the group. We're playing 2nd levels. That makes us virtual childrens. Everyone else that is playing is playing Jedi Padawans. My plot job is that I'm supposed to be taking these guys all over the galaxy to find their light saber componants, so that they can assemble their own lightsabers and progress to the next level of Jedi-dom. The time period is just after Episode 2. So the big Jedi are all busy, basicly.

So here was the first sign I was going to have problems. Chris starts role playing this Jedi Master who's dealing with me to be the pilot. He asks me how much I want to do this job. I say, out of character, "Um..I ask for what is reasonable?" Chris gives me this look. "You have to ask for a spacific amount," he says. I grit my teeth. There is a tone of voice he has, like I'm being stupid. I tell him I don't know the amount. He tells me that I have to pay for docking fees, and ship maintanance, and I have to ask for enough to cover all that. I'm getting frustraited. He says we'll deal with it later. Ok.
Then later, we've gotten to where I'm finally going to do my thing. He had alot to do with [livejournal.com profile] blowdry and that's alright. She's playing one of the Junior Jedi, and there is detail and ritual involved in making a lightsaber. I however, don't think I need so much detail. I say, "I go in, and do the checks to the ship, and get ready to launch." He asks me, "What system do you turn on first?" I look at him blankly. "I don't know?" I reply. I'm having a bad feeling. I'm getting that look again, like I'm supposed to know. I'm begining to feel anxious, like I'm in school, not knowing the answer. I admit, I freak out alittle. Then he says, "I thought you wanted to play a pilot." Oh, I went off alittle. I asked him how I was supposed to know. My character is a pilot, I am not. He claims it is in the book. OH..btw, my character is technically from the D20 Future book, rather that Starwars, I'm playing a cyborg
and the rules were better. There *are* rules about space campaigns. I don't even have the Starwars book, or for that matter the future book. He left the Future book for me. I hand him the book and tell him to *show* me a checklist on the systems a pilot character is supposed to know. He can't find it. He does mutter, "Ok, most of this has to do with combat." He doesn't apologize. He;s frustrated me so much, that when I miss a couple of pilot skills checks taking off, I don't even find it funny. Basicly this means that I bumped into the sides of the hanger a couple of times, trying to take off. This could have been hilarious. But no..

Now I am trying to decide if I want to keep playing. I imagine that I will, especially if [livejournal.com profile] blowdry wants too. But he can't keep doing that stuff.

After the game I went with my friend Ernesto to see Sin City again. We really predicted that Erni would fricking die, but he was actually well behaved. He said it was due to shock. Made me giggle. It was welcome relief.

Sin City

Apr. 4th, 2005 02:39 am
teague: (Default)
(x posted to [livejournal.com profile] amoviescript)

Title: Sin City
Genre: Action/adventure and crime/gangster
Director:Robert Rodriguez, Frank Miller, and guest director Quinton Tarrentino
MPAA Rating:   R for sustained strong stylized violence, nudity and sexual content including dialogue.
Cast:Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, Clive Owen, Elijah Wood, Jessica Alba, Brittany Murphy, Josh Hartnett, Nick Stahl, Rosario Dawson, Carla Gugino, Jaime King, Marley Shelton, Alexis Bledel, Devon Aoki, Michael Clarke Duncan, Rick Gomez, Frank Miller, Michael Madsen, Powers Boothe, Jude Ciccolella, Rutger Hauer, Makenzie Vega, Nicky Katt
Year of Release: 2005
Rating: 4/5


Sin City is a visually stunning movie that will probably cause much controversy. It's in the comic book adaptation genre, and is unique in that the creator of the graphic novels has co director credits. The movie is dark, and gritty in tone, the whole movie desaturated with splashes of color added back in for dramatic effect. It looks very much like the novel if was styled after. It is actually about 4 stories included into one movie, and involving many of the same characters.

In addition to being eye candy, the movie is very character driven. There really isn't a boring character featured, and they are Frank Miller signature. The men are super macho, and tough as leather, and the women are hot, sexy, and hard. Truth is, everyone is cartoonish in aspect, more archtypal than genuine. It was discussed amongst my friends to wonder if perhaps Frank Miller had problems with women, as the empowered and strong women in the story were all whores. Then it was pointed out that there was quite abit of violence against men in the movie as well, and an inordinate amount of nut shots. So Frank Miller may just hate people in general.

I was surprised and pleased to see the daring use of nudity. I haven't seen as much hot skin since movies from the 70's. The action is fast paced, and stylish, and the violence was brutal. Lots of seat squirming moments. The acting was superior, even though it's obviously over the top. Don't expect subtle performances.

My biggest complaints are that there are parts that drag. This is not something Rodriguez is known for, and might be because Miller insisted on having every scene possible. I was also abit annoyed with the incessant self narration that closely mimiced how you would read the narration in a comic. It feels natural in a comic, but somehow it was less needed in a movie.

My overall opinion of Sin City is that it is a tastey, dirty pleasure, much like walking the streets of the city it's self. If you want a wild ride, and a movie that will stimulate your eyes and make you hyper, Sin City is for you. If you want to get some lovings from a female date, you might want to make sure she likes comics first.

Tah! Shan
teague: (Yahoo pic)
It's been an interesting weekend.

Recently I made a post concerning three answers to my OK Cupid profile. The total now is 6. Wow. When it rains, it pours. Wow. I'm getting to know two of them fairly well. If nothing else, I may get afew new gaming buddies. That'll be something. What kills me also is...The ones who's pictures I have seen are all cute! I've given thought to passing a couple to my emo little apprentice, but other than her obsessions with Alan Rickman, and the Beatles, I'm not sure how she feels about older men. I can say one of the older men likes 20 year olds. HA! They also know I am poly, and afew of them seem facinated, if not interested. That's kinda cool. Makes me feel good to have masculine attention again. Stuff like that is such an extra push in the effort to make my reality look more like the user Icon. (Heh, I'll never be so thin)

We went to see Constantine today. All I have to say about it is this. *takes a deep breath, centers herself, and raises both middle fingers.* FUCK YOU, IT WAS GOOOOD! KEANU WILL NEVER WIN THE OSCAR, BUT HE DID BROODY AND TROUBLED JUST FINE! THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ROCKED SO HARD. I LOVED THE SCENE WHERE LUCIFER CAME AFTER CONSTANTINE SLIT HIS WRISTS, AND HE SAID "we've got a theme park of delights awaiting *you*, John," AND KICKED HIS LEGS WIDER APART! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOTHING LIKE ANY STORY IN THE COMIC. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COMIC BOOK CANNON. LET ME REPEAT THAT! NOOO COOOMIC BOOOK CAAAANNON! EVERY TIME THEY SWITCH WRITERS THEY CHANGE A CHARACTER! IT WAS GOOD. THE MOVIE WAS GOOD. I'M GOING TO COSPLAY GABRIEL! I'll do it...I will.

*pants*

Anyway, I'm going to be heading to LaGrange tomorrow for a week. Anyone close to LaGrange that wants to meet up, let me know. I'll look for the "Leave me a Text Message" feature on the Info page.
teague: (Sithlady)
I'm flush...I'm dizzy. I'm slightly...ok...I'n not just slightly horny. It....looks.....awsome. And Ani no longer looks totally gay. The image of him in his Sith uniform with his yellow eyes...Um...Hey, my seat's wet. Then him walking into the Jedi Temple, backed by clone troops...*fans self like Scarlett O'Hara*. Hey, can I be Darth O'Hara? That'd be cool.


BAD JEDI! GO TO MY ROOM!

Pondering

Feb. 19th, 2005 08:09 pm
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I'm pondering starting a community for movie reveiws for my buddies. We tend to be a movie watching bunch. Anyone else interested?
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GRRR!

Dear Theater Fucks,

Thank you so very much for pretty much ruining my whole movie going experience. Your compulsive rudeness obviously cannot be helped, as apperently you were raised on a fish loading dock by Marine Teamsters with Tourettes judging by your affection for both the words "fuck" and "shit". Now, don't get me wrong. I love the four letter words, and believe me, I was using them in my head. The only thing that saved you was the self awareness of my temper that told me if I got up, and began talking to you, I would start yelling, then possibly swinging, and we really need the money in the bail fund right now. Let me address afew of you in particular.

To the stupid couple that sat directly behind me in the begining: First, I hate you. I hope that you, Dick, do not knock up you, Cunt. I curse your reproductive parts. Please, for God's sake, DO NOT BREED. Your running commentary was nothing short of infuriating, and the way you, Cunt, shouted out "OH FUCK" in the midst of the first scary scene was really...fucking...classy. Really! And the way you forgot within five minutes when you were nicely asked to shut your lick hole was charming. Absolutely.

To the next little bunch who were behind me after I got fed up and left my first seat: Do you like hand puppets? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you too. You were no better than the first couple, and why the Hell is it that it's the WOMEN who are cursing the loudest? Now, I admit, I'm all about the profanities tonight. But A) I'm pissed, and B) I would never yell curse words out in mixed company unless something was blowing up.

The the asshole who answered his CELL PHONE: God doesn't have a punishment strong enough for you. Maybe brain cancer from that cell. You fucking dick.

The people who brought their baby: First of all, I hate you on general principal. I hated the stupid fuckers who brought their sick two year old to see Kill Bill for a midnight show. What the fuck, people? Does it matter to you that you are subjecting your infant to germs, loud noises, intense emotions from the crowd, and sleep disturbance? If I were Queen of the World, I would take that baby away from you, and give it to the first wonderful childless couple I could find. If you can't get a baby sitter, your right to see a movie is revoked. Period.

I hope each and every one of you get *HORRID* nightmares from this movie. I hope you can't sleep, and you sweat, and it upsets your stomach. I hope it gives you diarrhea all day tomorrow, and you fart around co-workers. The movie scared you so bad you couldn't shut up? You should have seen the movie playing in my *mind* starring you!

EDIT: Don't believe me? Refer to [livejournal.com profile] dustbunnies and [livejournal.com profile] blowdry assuming they aren't set as friends only mode.
teague: (Default)
First, one of things things. Answer it for me. DO IT NOW!

1. Does my username suit me?
2. Is my journal's title cryptic or descriptive? What do you think my journal's title means?
3. Does my journal expand your knowledge of me?
4. Do you think my bio describes me well? If there were no names given would you be able to guess who it was describing?
5. Which of my interests surprises you the least?
6. Which of my interests surprises you the most?
7. Which of my interests needs explaining?
8. How many of my friends' journals do you read on a regular basis?
9. How many of my friends are strangers to you?
10. Which of my userpics suits me best?

 Blackberry
I dyed my bangs again.

America! Fuck Yeah! Went to see Team America, World Police. My God...Parker and Stone have a special place in Hell waiting for them, and they'll probably like it. For those that don't know, this is the movie with the puppets. It's most *definately* not for children. Let me repeat..DON'T TAKE YOUR CHILDREN! Two words...Puppet porn. Anyway, if you like Southpark, you'll be peeing yourself for this. Anytime these guys get a movie, they'll do shit they can't do on TV. And this one was offensive enough that two people got up in the middle, and left.

They finally got the boards off the windows, so no more bat cave. Looks like life is returning to normal.
teague: (Bubbles)
Today was pretty good. Fairly eventful. I was called into work, so here is today's Hot Topic story.

I'm running a register today. Not the most exciting job, but none of it is really. This kid comes up to me with one of those Living Dead Dolls and asks me, "Does she come with a special battery?" I give him a puzzled look. He shows me the doll as though that will explain things. I tilt a brow, and say, "No, sweety, this is an ordinary doll. She doesn't move, or talk." He says, "oh," and wanders away, disappointed. I have to bite my lip. My goodness...Aren't those things hidious enough without added things such as head spinnies, and jaw clackies?

After work I went with Brian and Rachelle to eat, and get haircuts. I gave poor Brian a shock. I now have super short hair. I wanted it edgy and spikey. To be honest it's abit shorter than I thought, but my hair grows so fast, it's cool. I kept my long, dyed bangs. I think it is the shortest I have ever had it. Brian told me I am not allowed to start carrying a wallet. LOL...Silly...I already do.

Came home and discovered that Sparkle finally decided to dig, as hoped. So now I have two tanks of sand with crabs underneith. I hope they molt well, and quickly, and don't die. It can take about a month for them to molt completely.

Then we went to see The Exorsist, the Begining. It was actually pretty good, and I wasn't expecting alot. The big complaint is they should have spent alittle more on the CGI, or left it off entirely. The non computer special effects were very nice already. Great makeup, and beautiful sets. I don't want to spoil it, but I will say there were some gut wrenching, intense moments. Oh, but there was another problem. This couple behind me doing a running dialog. I even shhh'd a couple of times. Total rudeness. I wish I could have spun my head around, and spit pea soup on them.

Back Home

Jul. 11th, 2004 07:37 pm
teague: (foxy)
We made it back, safe and sound, though it rained rilly rilly hard. Watched Butterfly Effect, and Triplets of Belleville. Belleville is trippy trippy. It's a very pretty cartoon, though not bright colors, like Disney, and they don't skimp on drawing cartoon people the way people look. Also there isn't alot of dialog. Still there are alot of moments that just make one chuckle. Alot that is cute, and alot that is just weird. I would recommend it for cartoon freaks, times when you might talk through a movie, but want a nice background, and times when you want something relaxing to watch. Butterfly Effect was good as far as I was concerned. If you hate Ashton Kutcher, you just hate him. I happened to have no strong opinion, and I thought he did fine with not playing a dork ass. There is a scene, at least in the director's cut, which was what we watched, where he had to go up to a couple of guys that it had been suggested raped him in prison, and I thought his revulsion played through well. If he desires to, he might age well as an actor. Oscar worthy? Who knows?

We just relaxed, and fucked off last night. Today we went to the Big Top flea market, and to one of the little malls. The flea market was hotter than comfy. Ours is cooler, usually. The mall was cool. We hit the Dollar Tree, which is always fun. And I got to play with a hermit crab, perhaps convincing Brian that they won't eat a human.

Anyway, I shall be online tonight, with all chatties open. Hopefully, I will get to catch up with some folks. For now...I nap.

Do evil!

Jul. 8th, 2004 03:43 am
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hehehe...I have a serious case of Doc Ock love. And ya'll can correct me if I am wrong, but I think my fandom rivals are for once relitively small, unlike my lust of Jason Isacks. Yes, I have seen the new Spiderman, and all I can say is HO-LY SHIT True Believers...It's a wonderful, wonderful movie. Without resorting to spoilers, I want to pose that Sam Raimi is a cinema god. And this movie has all the things he was cautious about the first time. His famous camera work, with the way he likes to zoom in, *and* a significant cameo by Bruce Campbell. I'm sure Sam's car is in the movie again. And in this movie there is romance, angst, and closure. *Closure*...What a mature plot concept. It was Grood! Be on the look out for the professor who will eventually become a lizard man.

I also tinkered with my user page, as well as uploading the new User pic. I went through friends intrests, and checked off the ones I shared, and didn't already have. You guys have some kinky intrests. I had to look up afew.

My Best Friend is [livejournal.com profile] blowdry
Our 34 common interests are: ancient egypt, anime, art, bondage, boys in makeup, cats, clamp, clothes, computers, conventions, corsets, cosplay, disney, ebay, fashion, gackt, geeks, harry potter, hentai, japan, love, movies, nerds, photography, pirates, pocky, reading, rocky horror picture show, role-playing games, science fiction, slash, tattoos, vampires, yaoi
Who is your best friend?
Username:
Created by [livejournal.com profile] macoto
teague: (Default)
Follow up to the movie previously reveiwed, Troy:

http://www.pvponline.com/

We went to see Shrek tonight. Oh man, that was so good. I hazard to say even better than the first. The plot was great. The animation was awsome. And it was too, too funny. I mean...Starts off with the Handsom Prince telling his own fairy tale, as he's walking up to the castle. He pulls off his helm, and he's wearing a hair net. He whips that off, and fluffs his glorious blond mane in slow motion...like Baywatch. The best scene to me in the whole movie was a spoof of cops, where Shrek, Donkey and Puss all get arrested on tape, by the city guard. I won't tell you everything that happened. Jus that it was fucking funnier than hell. My advise...Go see the movie. If something doesn't make you laugh, you need medical help.
teague: (Default)
First let me say that I won't offer any real "spoilers". If you've taken a certain level of English in this world, then you've at least read, or heard of the Iliad then you know how it ends. With a big fucking horse, and Odysseus being too smug for himself. Much like we knew how Titanic ended, we will still watch it.

I'll start with what I liked. Oh man, the battle scenes were shweet. And convincing. I could believe there were a whole lot of sweaty Greeks trying to seige the beach of Troy with all the grandure of seizing the beach at Normandy during Saving Private Ryan. Slightly less gritty, since arrows don't cause the same splatter as granades and cannons. If you like historical battles, you'll probably like this movie. You'll get to see roughly the sorts of battle tactics I remember the Greeks supposedly using. Now remember, we're talking Greeks, not Romans. We know the Roman's pretty much perfected the marching wall o' doom tactic. I also think the movie was well cast. Brad Pitt was doing his usual good at being sexy, and scruffy. He was toned to high hell, and looked convincing doing alot of the fight manuvars. He was moody, and broody, as Achilles was reputed to be. He had a great line to the Apollian Temple priestess who came to share his tent, when she was spitting at him for his disrespect of the gods. He pointed out that Ares is a god too, and not a nice one, lining his bed with the skins of the men he'd killed. Eric Bana plays Hector, Achilles main rival, and Trojan Prince. He does well as the foil, being an obviously good hearted man, family man, and potentially good ruler as well as excellent fighter. And Orlando Bloom does well as the fricking dumbass little weasel boy, Paris, who makes off with some other guy's wife, and plunges his country into war. He's lucky Trojans are not the Spartans he stole Helen from, or they'd have hung his ass off the walls themselves. He's not all bad. He tries to be brave in the end. And my favorate, Sean Bean does an excellent turn as the cunning Odysseus, also known as the guy who can get Achillis out of his tent. And lets not forget Peter O'toole, who *always* makes a good king, and the king of Troy is no exception. The actresses were good too, but lets face it, looking pretty and worried is not a stretch for an actress. Maybe if they do a slew of Greek movies, a Cassandra, or Calypso, or Circe will emerge and have more interesting things to do. Also they let the hot guys show alot of skin. Twice at least there was almost full frontal. I kept hoping...but alas. No boobs either fellas, sorry.

Now, what I didn't like. The *glaring* thing that was absent in this movie was tangible gods. They decided to tell this story from a more or less historical perspective. So it did not begin with three vain goddesses and a golden apple. This is a shame for afew reasons. The biggest is the fact that so much about the plot *makes more sense!* I mean, Paris is so much less of a terrible prince, and a dweeb when he's been given permission by Åphrodite to take off with Helen. Gods are often refered to in the movie, but it's like the way we refer to our own gods today. I won, cause God helped me, kind of thing. Now, mind you, I didn't want a new Clash of the Titans, but then again...That movie could be so much better today. (My appologies to Ray Harihausen, especially if I misspelled his name.) Now I've heard much about deviations from the original plot and characters as well. Yes, Achillis was supposed to have a little male spear boy or something that, heh, he was supposed to be spearing, and who's demise or absence made Achillis have an 8 year sulk. They left out the whole Greeks being pretty gay thing. Hey, I for one wouldn't have minded seeing it. It *is* historical. For all you macho guys out there, in Greece it was considered macho. Women were thought of as too soft and weak to have the most fun with. Never mind that squirting out babies *IS* pretty damned macho. But I digress. The final thing I was annoyed by is that in the movie the seige of Troy seemed to last less than a year. Maybe three months at most, as evidenced by the fact that Hector's infant son never ages. I know you have to cut certain things. The movie is already about 3 hours long, but there are ways to show the passage of time. War ultimately is you've seen one battle, you've seen them all.

Anyway, my overall opinion is that I liked the movie. I recommend going to see it. If you are a purist, you might find some things annoying, but when you do, just turn off your brain, and go "Ooooh...nice fight scene..." That's really why the men want to see it anyway, and for you gals, just look at the pecs. They're very nice.

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teague

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