My Very Own Grudge.
Oct. 23rd, 2004 02:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
teagueGRRR!
Dear Theater Fucks,
Thank you so very much for pretty much ruining my whole movie going experience. Your compulsive rudeness obviously cannot be helped, as apperently you were raised on a fish loading dock by Marine Teamsters with Tourettes judging by your affection for both the words "fuck" and "shit". Now, don't get me wrong. I love the four letter words, and believe me, I was using them in my head. The only thing that saved you was the self awareness of my temper that told me if I got up, and began talking to you, I would start yelling, then possibly swinging, and we really need the money in the bail fund right now. Let me address afew of you in particular.
To the stupid couple that sat directly behind me in the begining: First, I hate you. I hope that you, Dick, do not knock up you, Cunt. I curse your reproductive parts. Please, for God's sake, DO NOT BREED. Your running commentary was nothing short of infuriating, and the way you, Cunt, shouted out "OH FUCK" in the midst of the first scary scene was really...fucking...classy. Really! And the way you forgot within five minutes when you were nicely asked to shut your lick hole was charming. Absolutely.
To the next little bunch who were behind me after I got fed up and left my first seat: Do you like hand puppets? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you too. You were no better than the first couple, and why the Hell is it that it's the WOMEN who are cursing the loudest? Now, I admit, I'm all about the profanities tonight. But A) I'm pissed, and B) I would never yell curse words out in mixed company unless something was blowing up.
The the asshole who answered his CELL PHONE: God doesn't have a punishment strong enough for you. Maybe brain cancer from that cell. You fucking dick.
The people who brought their baby: First of all, I hate you on general principal. I hated the stupid fuckers who brought their sick two year old to see Kill Bill for a midnight show. What the fuck, people? Does it matter to you that you are subjecting your infant to germs, loud noises, intense emotions from the crowd, and sleep disturbance? If I were Queen of the World, I would take that baby away from you, and give it to the first wonderful childless couple I could find. If you can't get a baby sitter, your right to see a movie is revoked. Period.
I hope each and every one of you get *HORRID* nightmares from this movie. I hope you can't sleep, and you sweat, and it upsets your stomach. I hope it gives you diarrhea all day tomorrow, and you fart around co-workers. The movie scared you so bad you couldn't shut up? You should have seen the movie playing in my *mind* starring you!
EDIT: Don't believe me? Refer to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dustbunnies and blowdry assuming they aren't set as friends only mode.
Dear Theater Fucks,
Thank you so very much for pretty much ruining my whole movie going experience. Your compulsive rudeness obviously cannot be helped, as apperently you were raised on a fish loading dock by Marine Teamsters with Tourettes judging by your affection for both the words "fuck" and "shit". Now, don't get me wrong. I love the four letter words, and believe me, I was using them in my head. The only thing that saved you was the self awareness of my temper that told me if I got up, and began talking to you, I would start yelling, then possibly swinging, and we really need the money in the bail fund right now. Let me address afew of you in particular.
To the stupid couple that sat directly behind me in the begining: First, I hate you. I hope that you, Dick, do not knock up you, Cunt. I curse your reproductive parts. Please, for God's sake, DO NOT BREED. Your running commentary was nothing short of infuriating, and the way you, Cunt, shouted out "OH FUCK" in the midst of the first scary scene was really...fucking...classy. Really! And the way you forgot within five minutes when you were nicely asked to shut your lick hole was charming. Absolutely.
To the next little bunch who were behind me after I got fed up and left my first seat: Do you like hand puppets? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you too. You were no better than the first couple, and why the Hell is it that it's the WOMEN who are cursing the loudest? Now, I admit, I'm all about the profanities tonight. But A) I'm pissed, and B) I would never yell curse words out in mixed company unless something was blowing up.
The the asshole who answered his CELL PHONE: God doesn't have a punishment strong enough for you. Maybe brain cancer from that cell. You fucking dick.
The people who brought their baby: First of all, I hate you on general principal. I hated the stupid fuckers who brought their sick two year old to see Kill Bill for a midnight show. What the fuck, people? Does it matter to you that you are subjecting your infant to germs, loud noises, intense emotions from the crowd, and sleep disturbance? If I were Queen of the World, I would take that baby away from you, and give it to the first wonderful childless couple I could find. If you can't get a baby sitter, your right to see a movie is revoked. Period.
I hope each and every one of you get *HORRID* nightmares from this movie. I hope you can't sleep, and you sweat, and it upsets your stomach. I hope it gives you diarrhea all day tomorrow, and you fart around co-workers. The movie scared you so bad you couldn't shut up? You should have seen the movie playing in my *mind* starring you!
EDIT: Don't believe me? Refer to
dustbunnies and blowdry assuming they aren't set as friends only mode.
