![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Unsent Letters
Nov. 2nd, 2006 06:37 pmI'm borrowing a format from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellinator because I have a mood for it. It's all her idea though.
Dear Local News Hacks,
Nursery rhymes? Are you kidding me? Was today's news day that slow that you had to do an actual *advertized* news story about the dark words and images in nursery rhymes? Everybody with half a *brain* can figure out that nursery rhymes are dark, and thick with maiming, terror, and death! You don't even have to know the context sometimes! Hansel and Gretal had a cannibal witch in it! The *original* Little Mermaid FUCKING DIED! These stories are centuries old! This is not new! Instead of worrying about the parent who apparently grew up under a rock, who never heard of a nursery rhyme befor, traumatizing their child, how about covering something more *news*, like how some kids are being traumatized by losing a parent in Iraq! I'd love to come down to the station and just punch out who's ever idea this was. Anyone ever woncder why I don't watch the news on TV? This is why!
Pissedly yours, Shan
Dear John Kerry,
*sigh* Don't run, ok? Your lack of charisma is the reason we got Shit-For-Brains back in the first place. If you had just been a little more likable, and a little less awkward, you'd have probably won those crucial topple votes. I'm not saying you're a bad guy. I'm not saying that you aren't qualified. You just can't bridge that gap between the upper crust cheese and wine set in Massachusetts, and that pig farmer in Alabama. Clinton could do that. Say what you want about Clinton, but no one can say, "If I saw him in a pair of hip waders in a pig sty, grinning, and shaking some pig farmer's hand, I would have been surprised." This last little snafu you just had with the pissing off the troops, just proves that you need to stay your ass in Mass. As much as I hate that people vote personality, not issues, we need someone that can represent both well.
Sorry to say it, Shan
Dear Hillary Clinton,
Sad to say it, toots, but same goes for you. A lot of people love you, but a lot of people hate you too. And I don't just mean the GOP. You haven't spent enough time polishing your image, and getting folks used to, nay, *eager* to elect the first woman president. Oprah has a better shot, inho. (I'd vote for Oprah in a heartbeat!)
Hope to see you, 2012, Shan
Dear Pregnant Co-worker,
Is is *really* a good plan to watch scary TV shows about bad pregnancies, and sick babies? I mean...Maybe it's your way of preparing for the worst, but that crap would freak me right out!
I'm just saying, Shan
Dear Me,
Ok, what's up with the Phoenix pictures?? You should be done with them by now, and have them, and your hand written journal pages posted. Get on the ball, or you're fired!
Quit slacking, slack ass, You
kellinator because I have a mood for it. It's all her idea though. Dear Local News Hacks,
Nursery rhymes? Are you kidding me? Was today's news day that slow that you had to do an actual *advertized* news story about the dark words and images in nursery rhymes? Everybody with half a *brain* can figure out that nursery rhymes are dark, and thick with maiming, terror, and death! You don't even have to know the context sometimes! Hansel and Gretal had a cannibal witch in it! The *original* Little Mermaid FUCKING DIED! These stories are centuries old! This is not new! Instead of worrying about the parent who apparently grew up under a rock, who never heard of a nursery rhyme befor, traumatizing their child, how about covering something more *news*, like how some kids are being traumatized by losing a parent in Iraq! I'd love to come down to the station and just punch out who's ever idea this was. Anyone ever woncder why I don't watch the news on TV? This is why!
Pissedly yours, Shan
Dear John Kerry,
*sigh* Don't run, ok? Your lack of charisma is the reason we got Shit-For-Brains back in the first place. If you had just been a little more likable, and a little less awkward, you'd have probably won those crucial topple votes. I'm not saying you're a bad guy. I'm not saying that you aren't qualified. You just can't bridge that gap between the upper crust cheese and wine set in Massachusetts, and that pig farmer in Alabama. Clinton could do that. Say what you want about Clinton, but no one can say, "If I saw him in a pair of hip waders in a pig sty, grinning, and shaking some pig farmer's hand, I would have been surprised." This last little snafu you just had with the pissing off the troops, just proves that you need to stay your ass in Mass. As much as I hate that people vote personality, not issues, we need someone that can represent both well.
Sorry to say it, Shan
Dear Hillary Clinton,
Sad to say it, toots, but same goes for you. A lot of people love you, but a lot of people hate you too. And I don't just mean the GOP. You haven't spent enough time polishing your image, and getting folks used to, nay, *eager* to elect the first woman president. Oprah has a better shot, inho. (I'd vote for Oprah in a heartbeat!)
Hope to see you, 2012, Shan
Dear Pregnant Co-worker,
Is is *really* a good plan to watch scary TV shows about bad pregnancies, and sick babies? I mean...Maybe it's your way of preparing for the worst, but that crap would freak me right out!
I'm just saying, Shan
Dear Me,
Ok, what's up with the Phoenix pictures?? You should be done with them by now, and have them, and your hand written journal pages posted. Get on the ball, or you're fired!
Quit slacking, slack ass, You
